Real Results

On Wednesday driving home from a lovely outside picnic dinner with friends, I noticed my left collar bone area felt weird...tight...or bulky....hard to put into words.  This was the same area that had been biopsied and tested positive for cancer, but in recent Dr. visits the node could not be felt, however this time when I was poking around, I felt something-about the size of a pea.  It wasn't in the exact same spot as where they biopsied but close by.  I wondered how long had it been there?  I had Ryan feel it too, at that point I think we both got a knot in our stomachs.  For the next morning was going to be the big reveal of the PET scan results, and for a pea size tumor to show up was not a good sign.

I don't think I can be shocked by bad news anymore, which I guess is a good thing, makes hearing it less dramatic and more of an acceptance.  The PET Scan results, did show that some of my original tumors had slightly shrank, however this good news was irrelevant because the scan also showed the cancer has spread.  New tumors showed up on my lower back on my spine, on my buttocks (weird), around my left collar bone and in my lungs.  The cancer is now in my blood stream and free to move wherever it wants.  Dr. Lee reiterated how aggressive this cancer is....that even during chemo the cancer was not phased...so we need a new plan!  We stopped chemo immediately, if it's not helping, then we want to preserve the good cells I do have by not putting them through chemo.  I will start radiation on Tuesday, I'll go everyday (M-F) for three weeks.  They are only doing radiation for the tumor on my spine since that is an area we do want it to grow and weaken the bone or interfere with my spinal cord--also it really hurts!! I thought I was just being a wuss, thought maybe I slept funny, but now it makes sense why my lower back feels like it's breaking.  Speaking of pains, my lungs can't fully expand because of the tumors so breathing is more difficult and painful and thats a little scary being that I need to breath!  The next step for fighting the cancer is to find a clinical trial that I qualify for and get into it asap!  Dr. Lee did call me after my apt. stating he found some promising new treatments that are specifically for HPV Cervical Cancer in the advanced stages.  It's immune system therapy, using my own T-cells to fight back.  There is a lot of stuff online right now about it because this past Monday at a big conference for American Cancer Society, a doctor revealed his new study.  I'll attach a link below.

I am requested prayers specifically that there is a study that will start soon and that I qualify for it, and of course that the treatment works.  I meet with Dr. Lee on Tuesday to discuss more about the clinical trials, so I'll have more information then.  As of now, I don't know too much about them....if I have to travel or not, where they are, how much they will be, does insurance cover it, lots of unknowns, kind of feels like we are back to square one. Ryan and I are doing OK.  It's discouraging, but we have hope still. It's very scary and more real then ever.  Prayers that we stay strong for each other and that we don't forget to live in each day.  That I laugh when I can, cry when I need and love more than I thought I could.  I have hope, I have faith and I have a whole bunch of fight left in me!!  My God is big and powerful and I will trust in Him during this journey.

That's all for now.

PS. Since I stopped chemo my hair will start growing back!! Yeppie for the little things :)

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/cancer/fighting-back-patients-own-immune-cells-tackle-cervical-cancer-n119286

The three large black things are my kidneys and bladder (not cancer) 

This is a front view, so you can't see all the new cancer (like the one on my spine)