Friday, August 29, 2014

Amanda's Eye's...(by Ryan Bahler)

Amanda's Eye's


Amanda's eye's are something I will never forget. They are a brilliant blue, intricate, and beautiful. Her eye's were the type that drew you in with her glowing happiness, kindness and approach-ability. I could always see through her with those eyes, each moment and each mood told a story and she couldn't hide it. Her eye's were the open book to her heart and soul. I am thankful for this, because it gave me more of an opportunity to see who she was, what she was "really" feeling, and what she needed from me.

Moments before Amanda passed away she opened her eyes one last time. This came to a shock of joy to Amanda's Family and I, because the last few hours were very difficult for us all as we heard her breathing become more difficult as time went on. Unfortunately the doctors couldn't do anything to help, but they ensured us that with the medications she was on, that she couldn't feel the pain. 

As her eyes opened, we all looked right back at her, with her beautiful eye's glowing we all were comforting her and saying "it's okay Amanda, go to Jesus. We Love You!" Then her eyes widened, as if she was in awe, and she started looking past all of us like she could see the doors of heaven opening up to let her in. It was beautiful, and I knew this was it, so I place my hand on her heart, drew closer to her and told her I loved her one last time. Just then with my hand on her heart, I felt her last heart beat... I fell to my knees, laid my head on her chest, and my heart felt like it exploded in unimaginable pain as Amanda's family and I exploded in tears and weeping. 

As you can imagine this is very hard to write about, but there is some more to this, something very special, something of a miracle.

Moments after getting home and still weeping, I get a phone call from a gentlemen at the hospital, who was sincerely giving his condolences and then went on saying that Amanda registered as an organ donor when she got her Oregon Drivers License. He then informed me that the one organ they can they could use for other patients is her eyes. Of course I am in shock and trying to process what he is telling me and he needs a decision ASAP, because they only have so much time in which they can do the procedure. Take in mind that Amanda and I forgot to talk about it and she didn't put it in her will, but I took a deep breath and thought to myself. What would Amanda want? Knowing her, the more she can give to help others, the better, so I gave them permission to go ahead with the procedure. 

Days later I got this letter from LIONS VISION GIFT that touched the hearts of Amanda's family and I: 


"The Remembering Heart"


A couple weeks go by and I received one more letter informing us that Amanda's donation of her eye's did result in two corneal transplants, and two individuals who were blind have an opportunity to regain their sight.

Amanda's family and I are over joyed that she continues to give to this world, through her eye's, her blog, through Camp Agape, and all the great friends and family that are bless with beautiful memories of her. Amanda's sister Jill said it best, "Here on earth Amanda often "gave sight to the spiritually blind" and as now, she's giving sight to the physically blind. Her story just won't let up!"

We Love You Amanda! We all miss you dearly, but knowing you are shining brightly up in heaven gives us comfort in our Lords promise. Thank you Jesus for giving us the time we had with Amanda, and how you shinned through her was evident. I pray we all can see His bright light and follow in His steps, in order to show others The Lords glory.

Look at those eye's...So beautiful!!!

Camp Agape was so amazing this year! Every day it felt like I was going to see Amanda, but I could feel her presence and see her fingerprints everywhere. The kids were amazing leaving with big smiles and telling stories about Jesus and the fun time they had. On the last night they ask for me to go on stage and they presented this beautiful plaque of Amanda. I was able to share with all the kid Proverbs 3:5-6 and what it meant to me and hopefully that they can apply it to there lives as well. 

In spirit of Duck Football season, here's a great picture of Amanda and I putting our mean faces on. 
Go Ducks!!!



Thursday, August 14, 2014

More Than Thankful (by Ryan Bahler)

More Than Thankful

Words are not enough to thank the amount of people who helped Amanda and I, and what it means to us that you all would give, love, serve and support us through the most difficult time of our lives. I am amazed by all of you, from the ones who would just text a simple but meaningful "I love you", to everyone who sent wonderful flowers and cards, to everyone who encouraged us, gave us advise, and lifted us up with kind words and scripture, to everyone who was diligently praying for us, to everyone who prepared and delivered us delicious meals, to everyone who donated their hard earned money to help us with all the medical bills, and to all who were there for Amanda in many ways, while she fought through the battle of cancer.

Through the battle, I hope you all know how much you helped her fight and stay strong, even though it seemed she was a natural at it and did it with such grace. She didn't do it alone, it was our Lord and Savior who shined so brightly through her and all the glory is given to Him. I can't imagine how we could have gone through that fight without all of you and our God, who was always there to help us and guide us through it all.

Then came the day Amanda left us all to be with our Lord in heaven. Losing her is beyond difficult, beyond words, beyond...

I am thankful that The Lord has her now, that she is free of this world, and she is rejoicing in heaven. I am thankful for the staff of University Fellowship, for what you stand for, the love you give us, and all you've done to help us. I am thankful for all my family, friends, the body of the church, to everyone who have helped and are continuing to help me get through this. Most of all I thank you Lord, you know my heart and I will always follow you!

Finally, I thank you all who helped with Amanda's Memorial Service! Once again I am amazed by all of you who came together and helped create a beautiful memorial service that celebrated Amanda's life and glorified God. Many people made this happen including Amanda's family, a lot of friends, UFC, and many volunteers. You all worked so hard through a difficult time and I thank you from the bottom of my heart and appreciate all that you've done. I am also thankful to all of you who came, for all the kind, wise and loving words and support, for the wonderful cards and flowers, and to all who donated to us or to Amanda's favorite charity. I am so thankful and overwhelmed wondering how I can repay you all, but I thank the wise words of a friend, "You'll know when it's time and who to help and when it comes just pay it forward to those in need."

I love you all and God Bless,


Ryan Bahler